A year laterÖ
It is now September 8th, a year ago today our family, Kenny, Kristin, Tyler, and
I were all together. It seems like yesterday. We went for a visit
that weekend with his parents Pat and Mary Ann and his sister Lynda. It
was one of those weekends that was relaxing, we went for a walk on the
boardwalk at Kennyís favorite beach - where Kenny and I met - Long Beach, NY.
Kenny, his father Pat and Kristin and Tyler went to play by the oceanís edge.
I stayed on the boardwalk with his Mary Ann and Lynda. I then realized
that I needed some family pictures for Kristinís nursery school the coming
week. I went down to join them, and we were able to get those lasting
pictures of us as a family. My final shot was of Kenny walking away from
us on the boardwalk holding Tylerís hand. I turned to Mary Ann and said
something to the effect í that is one of those pictures you never forgetí.
We then went to a festival in Island Park, Kenny ran off to buy ride tickets for Kristin and Tyler, his last $13. in his pocket. He was so happy just watching his children have fun. When we left his family that Sunday we both said what a nice weekend we had.
Now as September 11th approaches, I almost dare not go there in my mind, and I think I wonít. But I will say that over the past year, one that seems like a blink away - yet also a lifetime is all so surreal. So final. It has taken me nearly the whole year to truly realize the fact that Kenny isnít coming home. I want to call him at work and chat about the children and the funny things that they did, I want him to walk in the door and watch as the children run to kiss him, I want to have my hugs back, my security, and his strength. It all seems so unfair for us all. Especially Kenny who will miss out on life.
As I look over the past year, and think of all of the things we did, said, and thought - it is overwhelming. I have fit more in this year than in the past 5 years. For me keeping busy means I donít have to think so hard at the emptiness left in our heart and home. I know he is with us guiding us, I still talk to him in my mind, Kristin says that daddy comes down and kisses her at night. She says daddy is in our hearts. And he is.
I hope America can heal in positive ways, we are trying to. I know it will take time, strength and hope. I feel we have all come together as one nation, and this has strengthened us and reminded us of our true American Spirit.
We have a long road to travel, this is going to be a life changing journey, one I never thought we would have to make. We are lucky to have such a wonderful support system. Family, friends and the nation have all shown such kindness. I know we will not be alone in this journey. Thank you all.
Photo by G.N. Miller (NY Post)